Communion with God was a great thing; to evangelicals today it is a comparatively small thing. The Puritans were concerned about communion with God in a way we are not. The measure of our unconcern is the little that we say about it. When Christians meet, they talk to each other about their Christian work and Christian interests, their Christian acquaintances, the state of the churches, and the problems of theology — but rarely of their daily experience of God. —-J.I. Packer
Imitate God as Children: Ephesians 4:32-5:2
Tonight I am unable to sleep. I’ve been awakened and unable to shake it, so am turning here to do a bit more scripture work on the passage I shared below in Ephesians. That passage is so rich, so full, that just one blog entry does not do it the justice it deserves.
I’m going to revisit these verses:
32 Be kind to one another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, as God in Christ forgave you. 5:1 Therefore be imitators of God, as beloved children. 2 And walk in love, as Christ loved us and gave himself up for us, a fragrant offering and sacrifice to God.
I want to focus mainly on verse 5:1. “Therefore be imitators of God, as beloved children.” Why does God bring up children here in this passage? His last mention of children is in Ephesians 4:14, when he discusses how we should not be as children tossed in the waves and the wind from doctrine to doctrine. That use of children seems to have a negative connotation to it: Grow up in faith, stop letting every notion of a different doctrine take you further and further away from the one true doctrine.
The use of children in Ephesians 5:1 is much different; it has a much more positive connotation. Right before 5:1 is Ephesians 4:32, where we are told to be kind, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, as God in Christ forgave us. Then the author goes right into “Therefore be imitators of God, as beloved children.” But, as the old saying goes, what is the therefore; there for? How are we to be these imitators of God? The answer is right there in Ephesians 4:32:
- Be kindhearted: “having or showing sympathy or kindness”. We all know people who have shown immense kindness toward us and we want to imitate them. A kindhearted person will put off their own selfish nature-completely discard it-in order to be kind towards another human being.
- Tenderhearted: “softhearted, sympathetic”. This person will love well, looking to bring comfort to the hurting, understanding the need for tenderness in times of due stress.
- Forgiving one another as God in Christ forgave us. This is the only words in the list that have a caveat. It is one thing to say “I forgave them.”, it’s a completely different thing to forgive one another as God in Christ forgave us. It’s a much more painful act because it requires sacrifice of self and the letting go of pain and instituting the restoration and reconciliation of relationship. It’s allowing God in Christ to forgive the one you are angry with or hurt by, and then working toward incorporating kindness, tenderheartedness and forgiveness toward that person who has hurt you deeply. I know this very well from both sides. I know what it is like to be unforgiven and the intense pain that brings. But I also know that unforgiveness toward my ex-husband for the heinous crimes he has committed would have eaten me alive with bitterness and anger. I don’t want to be there, not only for my sake, but also for the sake of my children.
I think God knows these things are hard. It is hard to remain kindhearted in every situation. It is difficult to be tenderhearted instead of self-serving. And it is extremely hard to forgive as God in Christ forgave us. God knows we can not do this on our own, so He gives us a simple command: Imitate God, as beloved children. Children LOVE to imitate. The love to imitate what they see their mommies and daddies doing every day. They want to play piano like their big brother or sister plays. They want to be able to ride a bike, so they imitate what they see their siblings doing.
God is saying, in order to do these hard things, take the easier road and become as a child and imitate what God would do. And frankly, we know enough of God’s nature so as to know what it is He would do in many, many situations. We know innately when to be kind and tenderhearted, we know where forgiveness is needed. And if we don’t, just like a child we need to ask our Father “What do I do next in this situation?” And then do it.
This passage that I’m focusing on ends like this: Walk in love as Christ loved us and gave himself up for us; a fragrant offering and a sacrifice to God. Walk in love. Walk in love. If we walk in love as Christ loved us, then the notions of kindness, tenderheartedness and forgiveness will come easier. Because we are not walking in love under our own power, but we are walking in love as Christ loved us and gave himself up for us. Sacrificially living is what we are being called to do ultimately. Sacrificially living toward strangers, toward family members, toward friends, toward church members, toward non-believers. And we do all of this by imitating God as little children would do so.
God, may we be able to humble ourselves to imitate you as children. May we walk in love, kindness, tenderheartedness and forgiveness as we walk in the love that Christ loves us. May we see opportunities to live sacrificially, and jump at the chance to do so, for your glory and name’s sake.
When Your Girl is Hurt : Ephesians 4:29-5:2
My girl came home from school hurt today.
And it broke my heart.
One of her “best friends” said some of the most hateful words about my girl, to my girl. They were hateful enough that I’m uncomfortable even relating some of the more “acceptable” words. My girl was devastated, barely holding herself together on the bus until she could get inside the door, and then she was a wreck. She feels ugly, unwanted, despairing.
The night has turned around somewhat, thanks to her brother Mark who defended her and protected her, and then helped her joke around to get her mind off of it. We’ve ordered a pizza, played a game and now we are watching a movie together.
My mother’s heart is struggling to understand this. I want to lash out at the parents for raising a child who would speak such mean words to a friend. But that is not an option. I may be dealing with non-Christian parents here. It’s a fine line. But there is also a part of me that wants to take this girl into my arms that has hurt my girl, and educate her to see if she really has any idea the power of her words. I imagine that she does not. And that is sad.
It reminds me of a passage in Ephesians, starting in verse 29:
There are lessons here for us as adults, too. Maybe even more so as adults. Because it is our children that are watching us and learning from us.
Do we take the time to consider the words that come out of our mouth? Toward our spouses? Toward our children? How many relationships would be repaired, and built up, if corrupting talk was not an option. Words are important. Words hurt. Words hurt deeply, as I witnessed my sweet daughter sobbing on her bed this afternoon. But words that are good for building up give grace to those who hear, and O, how we need to hear grace from each other.
Bitterness. Wrath. Anger. Clamor. Slander. Malice. Hard words, Hurtful, hurtful behavior. These are the attitudes that create ruptures in friendships. That create divisions in churches. Notice that these things, all of them are to be put away from you. To put something away from you, is to not hang on to it any longer. It reminds me of the show “Hoarders”. In order to be well, they have to put away their trash, their rotten food, their dirty collectibles, all the harmful things put away from her: thrown away, into the dumptrucks, taken far away. It’s the same thing. The bitterness, wrath, anger, clamor, slander and malice MUST be rooted out, shoveled out and removed.
These next 3 verses are the antidote, the prescription for what Christ wants for His children. Be kind to one another, tenderhearted. But here’s the vortex: Forgiving one another as God in Christ forgave you.
Forgiveness is a strange creature. It is a hard thing. When we are called to forgive someone, how is it supposed to be done? In the same way that Christ forgave you. I am to forgive in exactly the same way that Christ forgave me. That means putting away those words in verse 31, whether in deed or attitude. It means being kind and tenderhearted to one another. And to need and desire to be forgiven and yet to not be forgiven is so heartbroken and devastating. I know. I know the heartache of this even right now.
So what is the answer? What is the answer to all of this? It’s found in 5:1 and 5:2. We are to be imitators of Christ. Imitators of Christ–what a huge task that may seem to be! And yet we are given all that we are needed through Christ living in us, in order to imitate or Christ through being kind, tenderhearted and forgiving one another.
Walk in love. Walk in love. Because, Christ loves us!! He loves us!! And He gave himself up for us!
What is my job as a mom to my hurting child? Love her and validate her that she is beautiful and special and loved. And then model these verses in Ephesians for her–tenderness, kindheartedness and forgiveness. Forgiveness. Such a hard thing. But if we as adults can imitate Christ and offer forgiveness and reconcilliation between ourselves, our children are watching and will imitate us and will be healthier adults for it.
I get so many things wrong in parenting. But I pray that I’ll be able to love my girl well this weekend, building her up and reassuring her that she is a beautiful young lady made especially by God for an incredible purpose in His Kingdom.
Where is Room?
This song below touches on themes that so many struggle with–doubt, shame and guilt, works-based religion and pride. Each of these characterize my life and my struggle to find peace in my salvation. I don’t know the tune to the song, I only know that the words are incredibly powerful, and some which I need to memorize, particular those on doubt, shame and pride.
Lyrics: Where is Room?
Sinner, where is room for doubt?
Has not Jesus’ love been proved?
Did He not lay down His life
And the Father’s wrath remove?
Hear Him on the cross exclaiming,
“It is finished,” then He died;
Lose your doubts and fears forever
At His bleeding, loving side.
Sinner, where is room for guilt?
Has not Jesus born your shame?
Was He not cut off that you
Might the Father’s honor gain?
See Him on the cross degraded,
Ridiculed and thrown away,
To receive the once rejected
And His pard’ning grace display.
Sinner, where is room for toil?
Has not Jesus won your rest?
Did He not obey the law,
Giving us His righteousness?
See Him on the cross fulfilling
Both your punishment and crown;
Lose your powerless religion,
Find yourself in His renown.
Sinner, where is room for pride?
Has not Jesus paid it all?
Did He not show charity
To one ruined from the fall?
On the cross He paid your ransom,
Ev’ry debt has been erased;
You had nothing, yet He gave you
Riches by His lavish grace.
Songwriter
Copyright
© 2012 ReformedPraise.org (Text)
Music adapted from the composition “Waves of Kilkee” by Joanie Madden and Brian Keane, © 1999
Music adapted from the composition “Waves of Kilkee” by Joanie Madden and Brian Keane, © 1999