You can now access my blog on your smart phone in a mobile-friendly format. Just type in the Blog address: https://www.shellyduffer.com on your cell phone or mobile device. This will bring you to my blog in a format that is much easier to read from a mobile device. I’m slowly trying to make improvements to the functionality and features on my blog. Any input or suggestions you might have would be most welcome! Thank you for reading…..
Resources for Children of Inmates
According to a a study by the Pew Charitable Trusts (2010), more than 2.7 million children in the United States have a parent in prison or jail. I am the mom of four of those children.
However, my children are the fortunate ones; they have a tremendous support group in the form of our church and our community. They are loved and well-cared for. We are blessed tremendously.
Most children with an incarcerated parent do not have the kind of support that my children have. Many are shuffled from home to home, live in extreme poverty, and face academic and behavioral challenges.
There are a few resources available to these children—not many, but a few. I am slowly developing a page on my blog that lists these resources. You can find the link to that page by looking at the top headings of this page and clicking on Resources for Children of Inmates.
If you are someone you know finds themselves in this sitatuion, please feel free to direct them to my blog. I will be updating it as I continue to research what’s out there. If you are aware of any resources, I would appreciate hearing about them so that I can add them to this database.
And churches, there is much we can do for this segment of the population. You may want to check out sponsoring one of the programs I have listed at your local jail or regional prison.
Ski Fail: Revelation 2:24-25
I went skiing. Once.
Now, you’ve got to understand that I am no athlete. Never have been, don’t pretend to be one, never will be. I used to run, but only under the cover of night or early, early morning, because I ugly run. Like an elephant. I.am.not.graceful.
But how hard could skiing be? I like snow, I like cold and I’m willing to try anything. Once.
First mistake: People who are not graceful, should never put on skis–ever. It’s not a pretty sight. I put those skis on and confidently started to shuffle my way from the lodge to the ski lift. I knew from that first skid across the ice that I was in trouble. But being the prideful, arrogant person that I was (and tend to be), there was NO WAY I was going to let on to anyone that I’d never skied before. And I certainly was NOT going to do some “bunny hill”. Nope, it was all or nothing for me.
I approached the ski lift, all the while talking and laughing as if it were the most natural thing in the world. Out of the corner of my eye, I tried hard to study what everyone else was doing around me, so that I could imitate them. I had this. Piece of cake.
Carefully watching the people in front of me, I figured out how to get on the ski lift. Not a problem. I settled in to enjoy the ride and the scenery as we slowly cranked our way to the top of the hill. I love being up high. I even love it more when there are no safety harnesses or straps, and there were none of this ski lift. I was free to look all over; I could see for miles. I wanted to look below us, so I leaned way forward and looked down. And then it happened.
No, I did not fall out. But had I, it might have been less embarrassing. No, instead I dropped a ski pole. That I had rented. That I was responsible for financially. I had neglected to put the strap around my wrist (OH….that’s what those are for! Missed that…..). In my panic of trying to turn around in the seat to look down and see where my pole had fallen (as if I could see it in the trees), I inadvertently dropped-the other-pole.
Now I had NO poles. Great. There went my rental deposit on my ski equipment. But more urgently, we were approaching the top of the hill, and I turned my attention to observing how to dismount from the ski lift. Not good. People were using their poles to push themselves away from the turning ski lift chair. I had no poles. Panic ensued. My seat mate laughed. We reached the top of the hill, and I gave myself a huge shove off the chair that sent it swinging. This gave me enough momentum to get down the small slope away from the lift. So far, so good.
But, alas, I had to get down the hill. I sat at the top awhile, waving people by me as I pretended to try to adjust my ski boot. But I couldn’t wait forever. So, acting like it was the most natural thing in the world, I approached the edge of the hill and looked down. WAY down. “You’ve Got This”, I pep talked to myself, and started shuffling my skis back and forth, trying to gain forward motion. Eventually it worked, I took off like a shot, waving my arms like you do when pretending you are an airplane, in hopes to keep my balance. I immediately fell. And that’s how it went for over an hour as I fell my way down the side of that hill. But I had failed to figure out how to stop. I shouldn’t have worried about it though, I slid right past everyone at the bottom, right past the lodge and into the fence that surrounded the property. That worked. I stopped.
So, what does that long winded story have to do with anything in Revelation? Working through Revelation 2:18-29 this week, I ran into a verse, that I have attempted to memorize this week. This letter to the church at Thyratira is the longest in this series of letters. The message to this church contains a stiff, stern warning. Well-deserved. Some in this church were tolerating the teachings of a “prophetess” who was teaching some of the servants of God to practice sexual immorality and eat food that had been offered to idols.
But after God’s stiff warning, he gives an instruction. A huge instruction, coupled with what I consider to be a promise.
Only hold fast what you have until I come.
And so, I thought to myself, what do I have? I knew God was not referring to material things here. That would be completely inconsistent with His character. Although terribly important and my responsibility, I knew He didn’t mean hold fast to my children, because He said in Matthew 10:37
So what could God be talking about here..what is it that we are to hold fast to?
I wasn’t able to find much help in my Bible Study material on this phrase. But we don’t really need that much help with it, do we? We are to hold fast to the things of God. We are to hold fast to scripture. We are to hold fast to faith.
We are to hold fast to God, Himself. (see Jacob’s experience in Genesis 32:24)
How do we do this? There is only one way–time. Spending time with God. Spending time studying scriptures. Spending time worshipping and praying. This is how we fight the battle to hold fast.
But God gives a point of rescue in this verse, and much like a man dangling from an end of a rope and holding FAST until his rescuer comes, we are to hold fast until God comes again. And He will. He will come to take us Home, to heaven.
Had I held fast to my ski poles, the trip down would have been better. Sure there would still be the opposition of my awkwardness, but I would have possessed the confidence that having two poles for balance would have brought. If I hold fast to God’s word–and to God Himself, than God will strengthen me to continue to stand fast, in the face of tribulation and all this world has to throw at me. I love how Paul words it in his letter to the Thessalonians: “For now we live, if you are standing fast in the Lord.” Standing Fast. That’s where I want to be.
And I think that Psalm 119:31-33 sums it up beautifully:
May we cling to God’s testimonies. May we run in the way of His commandments. May we keep the way of His statutes to the end, when God will come again, just like He promised.
Sharing Tremendous News for My Family
I have tremendous news to share with you, my friends and readers.
Many of you know that life changed drastically for my crew and I 3 years ago. As a result of that tragedy, we found ourselves without a husband, without a father, and without an income.
Most of you also know how God has provided tremendously for our family since then. We have never been without a place to call “home”. Thanks to the kindness of both Seaford Baptist Church and Zion Methodist Church, we’ve had shelter. Through the kindness of many, we’ve had plenty of food and clothing. And after years of being a stay-at-home mom, God provided work: first, the continuation of substitute teaching that I had begun before our massive life change, then a part-time job in a bookstore, a full-time job in a Doctor’s office, and now a part-time “work-at-home” job with a company that provides technology solutions and development. These jobs along with the tremendous love and generosity of those God has brought into our lives have meant that our family is surviving. And thriving. When we should not be.
In the world of the fatherless, the stakes are high. Roughly 92% of incarcerated parents are fathers. Add to that divorce, death of a father, or sheer abandonment, and the number of fatherless children is huge. Many of those children are bounced around from house to house, sometimes ending up homeless. They are more likely to drop out of school; more likely to turn to crime themselves.
But my children are the fortunate ones. They are doing fantastic. We are doing very well. And that is due first to God’s provision and second to your prayers and love–the enormous support group that I and my children have.
There is no reason, in this world, that our family should be this solid, this well. We are good. God is merciful.
And, beyond what I could ever imagine, He’s done it again.
I know many, many of you have been praying that I would find a job, with benefits that would meet the needs of my family. I want to share with you that, that prayer has been answered. In an amazing way.
God has granted me the gift of a full-time job. The company that I work for (as a self-employed contractor), has agreed to hire me on full-time. While I’ve not received the offer letter as of yet, I have agreed to the salary and expect to officially “start” around Feb. 4th. If I am very careful and with God’s help, budget wisely, (which I happen to like to do anyway) than I will be able to provide for my family. We will have insurance again…which is very much needed.
And the most amazing part?? I get to work from my home. What a huge difference this has made in the lives of my kids! Their grades have improved dramatically. There is far less tension in the home. I am much more involved in their lives. I can’t even begin to quantify such a gift.
As a single parent, I am thrilled. I am overjoyed. But mostly there is this tremendous sense of relief; of a weight being lifted off of my shoulders. Like I can breathe a little easier.
I absolutely love my job. I love what I am doing. I’m excited about the future of this company. I’m excited to be a part of this company’s growth. And I am hugely grateful.
And I want to say thank you to those of you who have been praying for us. Not just for a job, but for everything. For my children–for their young hearts and well-being. For our protection. For God’s real presence in our lives.
So, we invite you to rejoice with us! To thank God with us. And we want you to know how grateful we are for each of you! And we ask that you please continue to pray for us as we continue to press forward. You are so very appreciated by our family.
We are so blessed.