Cords of Kindness: Hosea
Two nights ago I was awakened and could not get back to sleep. I found my way to Hosea, because, while I have studied certain “positive” portions of the book, I had not read the book in full. What I found there was astonishing. Discouraging even–at first reading. The word pictures were graphic. I knew the story of Hosea, how God had told him to marry a prostitute in order to be an example to the nation of Israel. But I was not prepared for the harshness of God’s anger toward Israel; toward Ephraim. (I still haven’t been able to find the answer to why the tribe of Ephraim was singled out). His anger was fierce. His words were shocking. Maybe not the best book to read after being awakened in the middle of the night.
But then again, maybe it was. I questioned God’s anger, and felt deep despair about my own ugly sin and sense of hopelessness. My God has every right to be ferociously angered by my sin; He has every right to call me “Not my People.” He has every right to withhold His mercy from me.
And yet, He has not. He has not withheld His mercy from me. A pastor pointed out something I had failed to see: the harshness of the verbiage, imagery and God’s anger in Hosea make the blessings in Hosea that much more meaningful, that much more applicable.
Take a look at these verses:11:3
11:3 Yet it was I who taught Ephraim to walk; I took them up by their arms,
but they did not know that I healed them. 4 I led them with cords of kindness,
with the bands of love, and I became to them as one who eases the yoke on their jaws,
and I bent down to them and fed them.
I had studied that passage before, but not in the context of the entire book. Now that I look at the book of Hosea as a whole, how much sweeter are these words? I went back to my study notes on this passage and read them with a different understanding.
I close this with part of the last chapter of Hosea, words I hadn’t read before the other night. That night they meant little to me, tonight after more contemplation I see more clearly the sacrificing love of my God toward my sinful self, and am in awe.
14:3 Assyria shall not save us; we will not ride on horses;
and we will say no more, ‘Our God,’ to the work of our hands.
In you the orphan finds mercy.”
4 I will heal their apostasy; I will love them freely,
for my anger has turned from them.
5 I will be like the dew to Israel; he shall blossom like the lily;
he shall take root like the trees of Lebanon;
6 his shoots shall spread out; his beauty shall be like the olive,
and his fragrance like Lebanon.
7 They shall return and dwell beneath my shadow; they shall flourish like the grain;
they shall blossom like the vine; their fame shall be like the wine of Lebanon.
8 O Ephraim, what have I to do with idols? It is I who answer and look after you.
I am like an evergreen cypress; from me comes your fruit.
Working from Home
I’ve just finished my first week of working from home.
Whew. I never dreamed that God would bless me with the chance to work from home. This opens up so many doors for my crew and I. I can be much more involved in my kid’s lives, that is the main thing. No more commute means less gas used. Plus I’m working with words–even if they are technical words–and I love that. This job will open up the opportunity for me to write procedural manuals and technical manuals for the company that hired me, Dynamic Systems, Inc. There may be opportunity for travel as well. But most of all, it will meet our financial needs if they bring me on full-time. If God grants that, well, I don’t deserve it. It’s almost too good to be true.’
Working from home has it’s challenges. It is difficult to keep straight working hours and not be distracted by other things that need to get accomplished, like laundry. I’m trying to stick to an 8-5 schedule for right now. That gives me two hours in the morning to exercise, study and pray and read, shower and get ready for the day. But I love the flexibility of it. For example, yesterday I started early and finished my day really late so that I could take my crew to see Spiderman, which, by the way, was amazing.
Staring at the screen all day is a challenge on my eyesight. No, I am not growing old, it is just that my eyes have trouble focusing due to fatigue–It’s got to be fatigue, it certainly is NOT age. Sitting all day is a challenge as well, which is why my morning exercise routine is vitally important. I’m also considering getting a Stand Up Desk to work from. I think I would be more productive if I had one.
God has been merciful to me and my family. For that I am truly grateful. He has met our needs, sometimes at the very last moment, sometimes before we even knew we had a need. I think that having to rely on Him totally has helped to chase away the doubts that I sometimes struggle with. I can imagine where my crew and I would be with out God, and it is a horrifying picture. God is merciful and kind, He is an everlasting Father.
Bone Weary : Stepping Outside the Box
Today I started my new job. And I’m honestly too tired to write anything coherent here, but I wanted to get something down since it has been so long since I updated my blog.
I remain very excited about my new job, yet overwhelmed at all of the details that I need to learn and learn quickly. Tonight my brain is fried, so I’m taking a break before going to bed.
This new job requires me to both step into and out of my box. Into my solitary, introvert, work with words box. Out of that box because I know nothing of the terminology or procedures or really anything of what I’m doing. But I am very motivated and determined to learn. My family depends on me learning this job and doing over and above what I am capable of doing. Plus they need me, this will allow me to parent better.
It kind of reminds me of the disciples who were called to step out of their comfort zones (fishing, tax collecting, etc) and follow Jesus lead. How did they know that they could do it? How did they take the risk of leaving what was a sure thing, a sure job(like Riverside)–giving it completely up in order to follow someone they didn’t even know very well? I suppose the answer is faith.
So I am striking out in hopes that my faith will be strong and that God will be merciful to me and allow me to succeed. To succeed would me that I’d be in much better shape to take care of my crew financially. That would be a huge answer to an ongoing prayer.
But tonight I am bone weary. I think every muscle in my body aches and my side is hurting. My brain has reached overload capacity. And, I’m just tired. Tired of trying to figure out how to do both Riverside and this new job, until and if they bring me on full-time. Tired of working so hard very hard, all of the time. I wish my crew and I could take a vacation.
Good Grief, that sounded like whining! I’ll stop here.